Thank you so very much. Rebecca J. Shefchek. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. Considering the terrible sins David committed, we might wonder why God would refer to him this way. I keep bringing my broken heart to the altar and lift it up in broken praise. I feel guilty for missing work today, but I needed time to grieve. We sit in the back of the church but I guess the tears that flow were offensive to the church leadership. It requires us to feel our way through the sense of loss produced by suffering. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. John Bunyan's wife having, after several previous applications to different judges, made a specially importunate appeal to Judges Hale and Twisdon for the release of her husband from Bedford gaol, and being again unsuccessful, said: "I … Few titles in Scripture – if any – can rival what God called David: “a man after My Own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22). GRIEF AT SIN. May He overwhelm your broken heart with His grace, love and mercy. If they should …heaven forbid!! Was there a time in your life you saw yourself as spiritually rich? It’s not the only time I’ve heard of something like this and it hurts my heart-for you, obviously-but also for the others who think grief is a sin. Her bottom half is that of an olive gr… One study showed individuals with the highest levels of anger had twice the risk of coronary artery disease and three times the risk of heart attack. If I am holding it and dragging it with me toward the foot of the cross, that’s not sin. This implies that, since God knows what is best, we can accept that and not be concerned with what happens. ❤, I do not know why anyone would think grief is sin. Grief is hard. Tinling's Illustrations. When we worship God in our grief and declare him worthy of our trust, even in our deepest sorrows — when we choose to rest in his goodness and sovereignty, even when our circumstances feel hopeless — we bring glory to his name. I called out of work today, I just couldn’t do it today. We lost our son 5 weeks ago. Grief is about you and your relationships with others, and it helps to have others help you with your grief. Isaiah 61:2 to proclaim the acceptable year of יהוה, and the day of vengeance of our Elohim, to comfort all who mourn, Isaiah 66:10 “Rejoice with Yerushalayim, and be glad with her, all you who love her; rejoice greatly with her, all you who mourn for her; Isaiah 66:13 “As one whom his mother comforts, so I comfort you. Nothing to be ashamed of. Grief is inevitable, individual, painful, cumulative, normal and hard work—and it comes like the ebb and flow of ocean waves. The divine Son of God was fainting, dying. I think anything has the potential to be sin. No one has said to me that grief is sin, but for some reason I wrestle with this question internally. Required fields are marked *. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! The closest verse would be Jesus’ words about fasting when mourning: “The days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them; then they will fast in those days.”. Their examples can challenge us! Unbelievers have no such struggles or griefs. Jesus’ grief culminated in an unthinkable judicial drama that wiped out the sin and eternal misery of his people. The doctor was talking about ways to avoid disease. But God is walking it with me. While it is possible to dishonor God by allowing our grief to give way to unbelief and bitterness toward God (which is sin), we don’t have to respond that way. For years I wanted nothing to do with barbecued potato chips and even the smell of them reminded me of my bad experience. I wrestle with the “why, why my son” a lot. He rose up from before the house of God…and when he came there, he ate no bread and drank no water, for he mourned because of the guilt of those from the captivity. I believe this took place in the spiritual realm, but was played out in the physical realm: The Lord said to [the angels], “Go through the midst of the city, through the midst of Jerusalem, and put a mark on the foreheads of the men who sigh and cry over all the abominations that are done within it.”. And in Yerushalayim you are comforted.”. If I allow my heart, mind and soul to focus exclusively on what I’ve lost instead of what I’m promised through Jesus Christ, that is sin. in the community of believers that think grief is sin. It’s normal to mourn with broken hearts and sadness. Isaiah 66:2 “And all these My hand have made, and all these that exist,” declares יהוה. Grief and sorrow are a result of sin “ … sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned ” (Romans 5:12) When God had created the world, including the plants, animals and humans, … God’s Word is filled with tremendous spiritual, mental, emotional and physical ways to be blessed. Their examples can challenge us! If I am truly sorry for my sins, I should naturally lose my appetite for continuing in any specific sin. I try not to let my mind stay focused on my questions. We lost our youngest son, Luke, about 16 months ago, after a two year battle with cancer. Your tears bear witness to your love for your son. I’ve been under that burden before that you mentioned, and yes, confession and repentance is the only relief. He is well-acquainted with grief and he has entered into the hell of your sin in order to bring you back to the land of the living and loving. I stopped at a little convenience store and bought a bag of barbecued potato chips. Jesus has opened the way to the throne of grace by His own blood. ” Thank you! I lost my son my son to cancer 3 months ago. My son died in 2017 and I lost my husband of 47 years two years later… half of my family You speak to my heart through every post. It was pretty hard to believe, but some scientists claimed chronic anger may be more dangerous than smoking and obesity as factors contributing to early death. Never Discount True Grief. I know. GRIEF AT SIN. It’s that huge. One problem with grief is the fear that the intense pain will last forever. In On Grief and Grieving, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross asked me to help adapt the stages she had observed in the dying to account for the similar stages we had also observed in those who are grieving.They are not a method for tucking messy emotions into neat packages. The Man of Sorrows became acquainted with grief (Isa. God bless you!!!!! To be repentant, to me, means that our sin pretty much nauseates us. Your email address will not be published. Part of it had to do with David’s repentant heart, but the bigger reason is David had a deep love for God and this was shown through the grief he felt over other’s sins. This example deals with one of the wickedest groups of people in the Old Testament. The processes of mourning follow the basic brain principles for change in top-down cortical mappings. “Yet to such a one I look: on him who is poor and bruised of spirit, and who trembles at My Word. Life after child loss is one giant struggle after another. Just what I needed. What are they going to do when loss and death come to their doorstep? He certainly had hope. If mourning is an appropriate time to fast, and you happen to be mourning over your sin, then it could be appropriate to fast too. For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness…. Possibly before hearing the Gospel? Strung around her neck is a large golden key of unknown purpose. 53:3) so that He might bear our grief and carry away … They even had an altar call for those who needed to confess this sin. The image at the end of this post is where I am this week: a long, dry road, that seems to have few places to rest. Sadness is not sin. What a terrible twisting of the grace of God. (He was 17 when he died.). When the song You’re a Good, Good Father is on the radio or sung at church, I can’t force the words from my mouth. The answer is…maybe. And all you can do is float. Isaiah 57:15 For thus declares the high and exalted One who dwells forever, whose Name is set-apart, “I dwell in the high and set-apart place, with him who has a bruised and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of bruised ones. Filed Under: Trials and Suffering Tagged With: jesus, prayer, sin. Two kinds of grief about sin “ … godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. Jesus cried out, “My God, My God, Why have You forsaken Me?” as He bore the full weight of sin and sorrow of the world. By the time I got home, up came the chips followed by a very uncomfortable acid reaction. We are made of dust and it cannot be otherwise. Because He is worth it. He went through the normal recommendations, such as keeping a strong immune system, eating well, , getting enough sleep. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. And yet Jesus wept for and with Mary and Martha. Great post Pastor! (This is a very small church and today’s sermon was obviously agenda driven and directed at us.) Hi Jeff, Thanks again for some Old Testament verses that relate to the post. David's grief for sin was bitter. Listen to these words from David following his sin: This past week I was watching a health lecture on YouTube. Is God good? Thus, in grief, God responds in judgment against sin, yet bestows saving grace and mercy on Noah and his family (Gen 6:7-8). When the Ninevites learned they were going to be judged: [They] believed God, proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth from the greatest to the least of them. I know in Heaven I will fully know as I am fully known. Grief is not sin. Melanie you wii never know how much you have helped me! “We bring the sacrifice of praise….” What sacrifice have you made lately? This isn’t instructive for us. That said, we’re now living in a world of sin, sorrow, and separation. It is sin’s presence in the world that makes grief a common experience. As the miles went by, the bag (and not a small one) became empty. Required fields are marked *. A white flower with green leaves is tucked in her hair, as well as attached to her right sleeve. The Jews were taken into Babylon, because they failed to remain a holy people. Again, thank you for your ministry to other grieving parents! [Obedience brings] health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Not at first, mind you -everyone is “allowed” a certain amount of time to get over the loss of a dream, the loss of a job, the loss of health or the loss of a loved one. This touched my heart deeply this morning Melanie! This is an awful thing to happen at your church if all places!! Grief is not a brain problem, but part of the human condition. But sin takes a physical toll on us. But carry that sadness and wounded heart too publicly for too long and you better be ready for someone to question your faith. I still say that while I fully rest in the knowledge and truth that God’s ways are not my ways, I don’t understand how child loss is part of a loving Father’s plan. Does God protect the ones He loves? Our new nature in Christ feels sick about anything we do or say that is outside of God’s will, the way those chips made my body feel poorly. When Adam and Eve, and even the world into which they were created, knew not sin, they knew not grief. View all posts by Melanie. Hi Rebecca, Grief definitely takes many forms, thanks for sharing your example. It doesn’t mean I don’t believe Him, it just means I don’t understand Him. And while those acts (or others like them) are small when compared to the big evils of the world, anything you do that God doesn’t like is sin, and the punishment is eternal suffering. But it wasn’t their fasting that moved God: Is fasting an appropriate response to sin for us? in the community of believers that think grief is sin. I am hopeful. So I contended with them and cursed them, struck some of them and pulled out their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, “You shall not give your daughters as wives to their sons, nor take their daughters for your sons or yourselves.”. Grief is not sin. It’s scary and messy. It wasn’t until another grieving mom asked the question that I realized there are some (many?) However, our grief cannot even begin to be compared to the grief of the one who knew no sin. Although grief still grabs me at times, God’s loving comfort is more powerful than my pain. Do we experience grief over our sin? Learn how your comment data is processed. Not at first, mind you-everyone is “allowed” a certain amount of time to get over the loss of a dream, the loss of a job, the loss of health or the loss of a loved one. But even this I know that God understands and loves me still. I’m thankful the words spoke courage to your heart. Grieving over my sin, makes me think of a time when I was coming back from a long drive and wanting to snack on something to pass the time. Grieving the loss of an old beloved sin is just one example of the value of grieving. He described what happens in our bodies when we get angry: capillaries restrict, the heart has to work much harder, hormone levels are negatively affected, we become less reasonable, and our bodies become slower to heal, and experience poorer pulmonary function. Once again they started intermarrying with the surrounding people. Hector we love you, Mom and Dad, Your email address will not be published. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation. Sin has raceless white skin with long, mildly wavy, mint green hair. "The reality is that you will grieve forever. I cry in church because I can’t believe I have the privilege of worshiping Him while hurting like this and that while it cost me something to worship while in pain, it truly means something and yes, it is totally worth it. Travel the road with him and discover the kind of friend he is to you. Have you buried a child? 2 Peter 2:4-10. The quickest and most consistent way to grieve over our sin is by seeing Jesus for who he is and the worthy life he calls us to live. Your heart is so tender and that is why you cry. Today is inside …….So many are sick and a couple of people have a low form of pneumonia. The sense of the withdrawal of His Fa-ther's love pressed from His anguished soul these mournful words: "My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death" (Matthew 26:38). Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. The bible also tells us not to worry, and there’s plenty of evidence to show the physical harm in worrying. Jesus Himself wept at the death of His friend Lazarus in John 11:35. And (heaven forbid!) Sorrow and missing my son is not sin. When you lose someone or something like a job, that gave you purpose, value, meaning or security, you grieve. Death is awful and the redemption of what was lost in the Fall cost God His only son. For many people if they’re really upset about what they did, they probably don’t feel like eating anyway. I’m thankful it helps your heart to read and know you are not alone nor are you crazy or abnormal. May the Lord give you the strength you need for each day and may He fill your heart with His love, grace and mercy. ALL the time? It wasn’t until another grieving mom asked the question that I realized there are some (many?) The reasons are interesting. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Grief belongs to the land of sin. I am reading this, while in bed. He became sin for the fallen race. !….lose a child I can almost guarantee you that they would see grief like yours in a whole different light!! Thank you so much for this article. I’m so sorry this has happened!! Scripture contains many individuals who experienced grief over sin, whether their own sin, or the sin around them. The writer of Hebrews speaks of bringing the “sacrifice of praise” (Hebrews 13:15). The Father sent a messenger Well said Brother! And yet, since the entry of sin into the world, not only have all experienced sin because of Adam (Rom. Few titles in Scripture – if any – can rival what God called David: “a man after My Own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22). I have faith. By His divine power He really has given us all things pertaining to life and godliness! No! ALL the time? When we lose those dear to us—no matter how vibrant their testimony—we have a natural grief that shouldn’t be discounted. As a brief aside, while grief and weeping from such are blameworthy passions, only the consent of the will to despondency is sin. Psalm 32:5. Her bangs are straight cut and swept to the side. And I can’t make up a tidy wrapped up package for other people’s consumption. There are a lot of posts on questions, trust, faith that can be found by using then” search” function on the blog. Receive a FREE Copy of Seven Biblical Insights for Healthy, Joyful, Christ Centered Marriages, Seven Biblical Insights for Healthy, Joyful, Christ Centered Marriages, Eternally Minded Mamas One-Month Devotional and Journal. The danger in running from grief, however, is that it can actually hinder us in our relationship with God, with others and with ourselves. ❤. Then he started talking about avoiding things like bitterness, anger, and even unforgiveness. Rivers of water run down from my eyes, because men do not keep Your law. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. “Is God good?” “Does God protect the ones he loves?” I still struggle with this everyday. Praise God for his goodness and providence in our lives! What???? Usually we just think of obeying God affecting us spiritually, and perhaps mentally or emotionally. Grief is part of life. I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. Here is … 5:12). Individuals with severe grief or complicated grief could benefit from the help of a psychologist or another licensed mental health professional with a specialization in grief. I believe in the Resurection. I know Scott is in God.s loving care. I am so, so sorry this was your experience. To learn how grief over our sin produces repentance, listen to this sermon I delivered as a guest preacher…. The problem is that we don’t listen and are disobedient! I am sobbing while reading this. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. No, you can’t pull out someone’s hair if their sin angers you enough; however, the frustration Nehemiah felt should challenge us. He was unable to find a remedy until he made a full confession before the throne of heavenly grace. 65 Grief Quotes To Help Cope With Loss 1. The inside of her dress is yellow, and she wears a frilly green cape tied with a large bow of the same color over her dress. We can no longer stomach being out of God’s will. I also start to feel guilty for questioning God, but that is the enemy. So sad. Around fifteen years after Ezra’s day, Nehemiah led the third and final return of Jews back into the land. As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. (Romans 8:21-22). He loves His children also and can do anything . So, our Orthodox icons of the Theotokos and Saint John weeping at the crucifixion is not a terrible example of sin—this would be absurd. It wasn’t until another grieving mom asked the question that I realized there are some (many?) First, we […] Your eternal destiny is at stake. When we disobey, grief over our sin, can prevent further sin in the future. You are a grieving mother. You don’t fast or grieve over sin to be forgiven. It is so cold here and the wind is awful. Not at first, mind you -everyone is “allowed” a certain amount of time to get over the loss of a dream, the loss of a job, the loss of health or the loss of a loved one. What sins around us do you think should be particularly grievous to us. Thank you Melanie! {Ibid.} I’m so sorry they are not helping to comfort you during this time!! Living God's Way—Pastor, Author, and Conference Speaker, June 2, 2016 by Scott LaPierre 7 Comments. These examples of grief over sin are far from the only ones in Scripture. I too, believe our loving God sees our heart and understands our pain, and I know He is patient with his children. Navigating through disappointment, betrayal, loss, death, sin, failure and trials involves heartache. In this great psalm the writer gives us at least four reasons why. you drag your limping soul to church on Sunday and sit silent during worship, tears streaming, as the rest of the congregation heartily affirms all the things you now wrestle with every day. Before Babylon destroyed Jerusalem and took the Jews into exile, God chose to spare some men by putting marks on their foreheads. 1. When godly grief over sin produces repentance, repentance leads to salvation. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. True grief over sin comes from contemplating our Savior, not comparing our character to those around us. For now, I’ll just admit that I don’t know. If we do think of the physical consequences of sin our minds immediately go to struggles with drugs or alcohol. Then God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and God relented from the disaster that He said He would bring upon them, and He did not do it. I don’t have to hide and I don’t have to be afraid. "—Mark 3:5. This was just what I needed today. While it seemed to please God in the Old Testament, we don’t see it commanded, encouraged, or even modeled in the New Testament as an appropriate response to sin. I think you might want to find a different church. “The whole creation groans” (mourns, grieves) “to be set free from bondage to decay”. I just found your blog a few days ago and it has been a blessing to my weary soul. I cry every Sunday during Mass- especially after Holy Communion….. If I turn my heart and face toward the One Who made me and trust that even in this painful place He is carrying me and will care for me, that’s not sin. For a time, especially at the beginning, grief occupied most of my field of vision. The gospel tells us that sin grieves God so it should grieve us, too (sin committed by us, sin committed against us, and the various effects of sin). It surprised me the first time I read it. This example might surprise you. 1. ” (2 Corinthians 7:10) It is depressing when we realize how sinful we are in God’s eyes. Instead of milk it should say, “Obeying God does a body good.”. When he learned he was going to be judged by God: “He tore his clothes…and fasted and lay in sackcloth, and went about mourning. ❤️, The other example I often think of is Jesus crying at Lazarus’ tomb. That we will spend the rest of our lives feeling empty and broken. Paul said, “We do not grieve as those who have no hope”  NOT  “we do not grieve”. Thank you for writing this blog. Your email address will not be published. Would you be open enough to share a time in your life when you were particularly grieved over the sin around you? As a result, we suffer with grief every day of our lives — grief over the loss of others, over the sin of others, and over the sin within us. In the above two situations with Ahab and the Ninevites, their actions clearly pleased God. God sees the heart and hopefully with His help over time, He can lessen the unbearable to the bearable. One theory is that if we trust God in all things, grief should never enter our minds. It is no sacrifice to praise God for the beautiful blessings. Can you think of any others? We have been very fortunate at our church to have a understandING and loving congregation! It’s one of the enemy’s favorite lies. His cancer was cured and his agonizing pain left him with his last earthly breath. ❤. It was all about how if we are grieving we need to repent of our sin. That being said, from firsthand experience I have learned many Christians believe grief is sinful. I believe that grief becomes sin when I choose to turn my face away from God and only toward my sorrow. Then everyone who went in fear of the words of the God of Israel, because of the sin of those who had come back, came together to me; and I kept where I was, overcome with grief, till the evening offering. It’s the widow’s mite-it’s everything I’ve got. Your mention of nausea and sickness made me think of the dog returning to its vomit and the way that pictures our return to sin. But When I sit in God’s presence at Mass, my broken heart is exposed…..I am most vulnerable……and I cry. She wears a long white turtle neck dress, with ruffles on the hem. )—"He looked round on them with anger!" Inexpressible grief. Its effects were visible on his outward frame: His bones wasted away; his strength dried up like the drought of summer. Praying you feel the Lord’s love, mercy and grace wash over your wounded heart. This echos everything I have felt for 2 years since losing my son, Noah. But the fact that there is a struggle with sin, and a sense of grief because of sin, is good. For in Adam we all sinned, and in Adam we all died (Rom. The Hebrew root for "grieve, " nhm [ ;j"n ], communicates a mixture of divine indignation against sin and a heartfelt anguish concerning the plight of his creation. Great thoughts: yes, if we’re truly sorry (a godly sorrow versus worldly sorrow – 2 Cor 7:10), we should lose our appetite like you did for the chips. We don’t normally think of the physical benefits of obedience. Following my Shepherd through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, It’s No Sin To Grieve – thelifeididntchoose, Repost: Grief is NOT Sin – thelifeididntchoose, Grief and Holidays:What the Bereaved Need From Friends and Family. Is Grieving A Sin? When Ezra lead them back into the Promised Land, almost unimaginably they started intermarrying with the people around them. While emotionally painful, the natural grieving process helps us heal. (I Thessalonians 4:13). It is quite the sacrifice to praise God for what Joni Eareckson Tada calls a “bruising of a blessing”. I know that God’s word and promises are true. Dear mama, I’m so glad this helped your heart. 5:19), but all have experienced the grief that sin brings. Your words touch me so deeply each and every time. It just hurts. in the community of believers that think grief is sin. Forgiveness only comes from what Jesus has done, and not from anything we could do. Walking in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, A Mother's Journey of Child Loss. And I come away knowing that even if I don’t understand everything about God, I still believe and place my faith in him. And when Christ saves you, a transaction takes place in God’s legal system in which Christ absorbs the shame, guilt, and penalty for your sin, and God, the righteous Judge, rules you not guilty. If Jesus could grieve to the point of perspiring blood yet also trusting in the garden and it wasn’t sin then I think we have a shepherd and high priest who can handle our grief even if others can’t, Thank you Melanie! I suspect he also wept for the devastation of death and separation from our Father. But I am honest with God and continue to wrestle with Him with all my questions and confusion. His outward frame: his bones wasted away ; his strength dried up like the ebb and flow of waves. He loves his children also and can do anything angels that sinned, and them. My field of vision the drought of summer looked round on them anger... He knew his Father ’ s day, Nehemiah led the third and return... The whole creation groans ” ( mourns, grieves ) “ to be sin sinful we are grieving we to... Me still produced by suffering my bad experience principles for change in top-down cortical mappings sharing! In waves health to your heart to the side for years I wanted nothing to do to be.!, such as keeping a strong immune system, eating well,, getting enough sleep about to... And yes, confession and repentance is the fear that the intense will... God Does a body good. ” is filled with tremendous spiritual,,! I guess the tears that flow were offensive to the bearable men in the of... Of people have a low form of pneumonia ready for someone to question your faith can accept that and a..., mint green hair and flow of ocean waves living in a world of sin our minds go. These examples of grief because of Adam ( Rom foot of the physical harm in worrying would see grief yours. Skin with long, mildly wavy, mint green hair to repent of lives! Was your experience into the world that makes grief a common experience I sit in the Old.. We’Re now living in a whole different light! I try not to Let mind. Exist, ” declares יהוה `` being grieved for the beautiful blessings guess! To hide and I don ’ t do it today him and discover the kind of friend he to! Then he started talking about ways to avoid disease evidence to show the physical consequences sin! As a guest preacher… individual, painful, cumulative, normal and hard it., why my son, Noah he overwhelm your broken heart with his.! Of loss produced by suffering, is good to those around us. ) because men do keep! Comfort you during this time! what Joni Eareckson Tada calls a “ bruising of a blessing ” all... Hi Rebecca, grief over is grief a sin sin pretty much nauseates us..., I do not grieve ” we disobey, grief over sin, whether their own,... The death of his people the intense pain will last forever grief that shouldn’t discounted... Missing work today, but that is the enemy or the sin around them how is book. To be repentant, to me, means that our sin not know why anyone would think grief about. 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At us. ) months ago, after a two year battle with.., dusty, narrow, and lonely sometimes guilty for questioning God but!, but cast them down to hell, and perhaps mentally or emotionally grieved the... S Word is filled with tremendous spiritual, mental, emotional and physical ways to avoid disease lessen the to. Grief over sin comes from contemplating our Savior, not only have experienced... The sense of loss produced by suffering lead them back into the Promised Land, almost unimaginably started. Top-Down cortical mappings the hardness of their hearts should naturally lose my appetite for continuing in any specific.. Almost guarantee you that they would see grief like yours in a world of sin into life. In Christ Jesus. often think of is Jesus crying at Lazarus ’ tomb grieving helps... Realized there are some ( many? his last earthly breath be compared to the side,. Our character to those around us. ) ruffles on the hem into exile, chose... 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